ESOTERIK.SE

esotericism

Experiences and dreams

 

Mans inner experiences are always subjective in some way. Therefore it's not always useful to categorize them, or try to compare with known esoterics. Sometimes we just have to take them for what they are, with the hope of understanding them better some time in the future. At other occations they can seem crystal clear. Some experiences are overwhelmingly beautiful, others difficult and maybe darker. But experiences are just as life, there are things to learn even from the difficult parts.

 

In this part there are descriptions of experiences, which some members have chosen to share. Please have in mind, that this is no attempt to develop the esoterics, just some individuals very private experiences

 

 

 

Proof of the out of body experience?

 

An out of body experience is a very strange, but at the same time very privat experience. The feeling of total awakeness during an obe can shake a person fundamentally, and basically change ones whole attitude towards life.

 

At the same time, as a critically analyzing person, one has to ask the question: is this real, or could unconscious parts of us play a trick, creating this strange experience, so real that it fooles us totally?

 

I asked myself this question after getting my first out of body experiencies in 1989. The sensation of separating from the body fully awake, gliding out into the bedroom, able to observe everything that happened was so strong though, that it was hard to be unpartially critical to the whole thing.

 

It seems to be a spiritual law, that we first have to realize something on our own, before we get confirmation "from above". Any way that was the case with my obe:s. Not until I had fully accepted them as real, did I get the proof that they actually were.

 

There are a number of research laboratories around the world, who have been trying to prove the out of body experience. Because of the uncertain and subjective character of the phenomenon, (you might for example not be able to produce an obe when you want it, and if you succeed you might not end up at the place you planned to) the experiments did not always succeed. Anyway there are a number of institutions who have made some really good results, one example is "The Monroe Institute" in West Virginia, USA.

 

Naturally my own experiencies can´t be used as proof in a strict sense, they are private and haven´t been performed under any scientific control. However I´m not interested in that. The experiencies have given me indisputable proof that what I am doing is for real, despite my often very critical attitude towards them. For me it´s now only a matter of trying to understand. I still can´t say exactly what is happening, but without any doubt we get information from other places than where the physical body is, during an obe. Concidering that we feel the movement and transportation during the obe, I draw the conclusion that we really are transported to another place.

 

Very well, here comes a number of obe:s, collected from my diary.

 

Kallinge 1990-08-06 at 08.30

obe nr. 46

 

Lying awake, thinking about going up, when I notice I can sway the astral body back and forward just by closing my eyes and relaxing. I open and close my eyes several times, and every time they close I can almost immediately start swaying.

 

After increasing the amplitude of the swayings I finally reach the end of the bed. Here I get completely loose, and fall smoothly to the floor. I walk straight through the closed bedroom door and continue to the kitchen, where my parents are. The vision is a little bit dark, but otherwise ok.

 

I can see my mom to the left (at her usual place) and she seems to be doing something with the bread. I can see a dish with sliced bread to her right, on the table. To the right of that I can se dad (at his place). In front of him there is something looking like small white pieces lying on the table. He is sitting playing with them, and I ask him what he is doing.

 

"Cleaning my lower back." (Impossible translation from Swedish, the words go like mushrooms in this langauage). I don´t understand the answer. Are the small white pieces mushrooms? They could be.

 

End of the obe, and I get up from bed. In the kitchen I find mom and dad sitting at their places, the sliced bread on the table as I saw it. My dad has just finished his breakfast egg, and in front of him on the table are little pieces of the eggshell.

 

My dad has no memory of us talking. It takes several years before I start realizing that the words I heard actually were ment for me. The end of my back, where the lower chakras are, really needed "cleaning up", before they could start opening up for real. This process goes on for several years without me understanding what is happening. It´s when I get dreams explaining that my base chakra is now ready, and at the same time also get a strong heat at the lower back, where the base chakra is, that I really start understanding the words I heard many years earlier.

 

Kallinge 1990-12-30 at 09.00

obe nr. 61

 

Notice I can start swaying as soon as I close my eyes. Maybe a minute later I separate completely from the physical body, and glide through the window. Some limited vision appears. Continue gliding over the lawn, feeling the grass with my hands. Fly a little higher, over the hedge to the neighbours garden. Suddenly I get crystal clear vision, full of colors of a seemingly "unreal" kind. The picture is so sharp I could count evey straw on the lawn, which by the way seems to be cut a little to hard. I can also see that the hedge is uneven, at one part higher and with a small slope at one place. End of obe.

 

After the obe I walk out into the garden. I came to my parents house late in the evening the day before, and had no idea how the garden looked at the back of the house. Oh yes, everything I had seen during my obe was absolutely correct.

 

Jönköping 1991-08-06 at 08.00

obe nr. 75

 

Lying and dozing in bed. My wife is in the bathroom. Notice I can sway my astral body a little back and forward. If I press with my feet i can press my head through the wall at the headend of the bed. After experimenting with this for a few minutes I get loose completely, and find myself sitting by the bedside.

 

I rise and walk away, trying to get better vision at the same time. I get some, but the field of vision is limited. Entering the hall, continuing towards the bathroom. The door is closed, but I pass through it to my wife, who I notice has no clothes on. I put my arms around her, feeling her bare skin as usual. But she doesn´t react to my presence in any way, instead she opens the door and starts walking into the hall. As i have my arms around her I follow, all the time eagerly trying to communicate with her. End of obe, and I´m back in my bed.

 

The next moment I turn my head just too see my then wife coming into the bedroom from the hall, without her clothes. As many times before I can feel some itch in my legs afterwards.

 

Jönköping 1991-12-07 at 06.25

obe nr. 84

 

Coming awake, discovering I can sway my astral body back and forward. Sometimes I wake up too much and get stuck in my physical. Relaxes, and immediately get loose again.

 

After a while I let go completely of the physical body, and sit up. Find myself somewhere else now, seems to have left the physical world completely. Start walking over a floor, at the same time as I try to get some vision, and I see the floor. A few meters away, leaning out of a window I can see my wife. She is standing with her back towards me, but I immediately know it´s her. I approach her, putting my arm around her. She turns to me, looking me in the eyes. She lookes sad. "You dont have to come to me" she says, and I draw back a little confused. End of obe.

 

As I the next morning tell my then wife that I had met her during the night she answers: "Yes, but I didn´t want you to come to me at that time." She tells me she had a dream, where she stood by a window and saw her old friends from Moscow walking outside. (she comes from Moscow). She longed for them, missing her old life there. At that moment I came to her, but she did not want me to disturb her right then.

 

This experience gives a perspective to the concept of dreams. The meeting with my wife that I experienced during my obe, she experienced in a dream. That makes me convinced that we, at least in some dreams, actually have left our bodies and are at some astral plane, where we also can meet.

 

M O 2006-03-19

My experiences of higher dimensions

 

During an out of bodyexperience, after separation we normally find ourselfes close to the physical body, in the normal physical enviroment, and from there we can travel on to other places in our world. But we can also go on to other dimensions. This transport usually takes place soon after the separation, and could be experienced as a fast jurney upwards. If it´s really a question of movement upwards I don´t know, you could imagine it´s more like a change in "frequency", where we gradually raise our vibration but get the feeling of climbing. Then of course it could be a combination of both factors. Intuitively I get the idea that this might be the case.

 

How the different levels present themselves can of course be individual, but there are at the same time many common factors, when we compare the experiences from different people. One problem when it comes to describing, is that we don´t have any general view with our objective vision in for example the astral world. We can see some objects, but we don´t know how the surroundings are, or how the system works. We can also see symbols during an obe, directed to ourselves and not nessecarily representative for that level. With this in mind I will try to describe what I have experienced during my obe:s on different levels.

 

The first level I usually enter immediately after separation is adjacent to the physical, and could probably be described as etherical, not astral. On this level the vision can function with two eyes, situated at the same places as the normal physical eyes, but with varying field of vision. This "etheric vision" can also be noticed in normal physical conditions, when we for example can see an aura around a person with our eyes, or some small figure moving in the corner of the eye.

 

On this first level the physical world looks mostly as usual. We can move from one place to another, noticing how things are there. The colors are almost normal, it can be a small difference in shade, and they have appeared a little fainter than "normal" by me. The perspective has changed slightly, the way it does if you zoom out a cameralens from normal to a slight wideangle. It also seems as if we have an "inner light" so that when we get close to an object in the dark, we light it up with our own light.

 

We can touch, and even feel structures on a physical surface. But I have never been able to change anything in the physical, like for example turning on the light. It´s the same when we try to make contact with people in their physical bodies. However I did succeed once. When I, during an obe, came to my then wife sitting watching TV, I tried to shake her and shouted, and at that moment she noticed someone was there. Unfortunately she got afraid, but she calmed down again as I had gone back to physical, went out to her and explained what had happened. She is psycic, and this may have contributed to the fact that she noticed me.

 

The next level is reached through a "dimensional shift" that can be done almost instantly, or in a few seconds. This level could possibly be described as the first (lowest) astral. On this level I have never seen with two eyes, but use inner vision, "the third eye".

 

At this plane I have experienced corridors, different rooms but also open spaces. The colors have been pale, almost greyish. The inhabitants (discarnated people) I have met here have been confused (one man didn´t have any idea where he was), irritated, in some case highly erotizised and at a couple of times purely hostile.

 

It took several years until I understood these planes are unsuitable to visit. After understanding it I also got confirmation from my guides. It seems as we get affected on an energy level from these planes, absorbing lower energy from them. Anyway they should be avoided, which can be done effectively by prayer for protection.

 

On higher astral levels, after an experienced travel time of 10 - 30 seconds, we can see varying city enviroments, simular to our own. I have also seen landscapes, often beautiful and full of colors. The inhabitants have been friendly, and able to tell me on what astral plane they are. However I have never met any of my guides here.

 

Over these planes, experienced travel time about one minute, there is a garden. I have seen it as a fruit garden with some buildings. This garden has been observed by many people outside of their bodies. It is reported to be more than halfway up in the astral, and to be very big. Some people who have a near death experience also seem to end up here, after a jurney through a tunnel. On this level I have met some of my guides.

 

In some cases I have experienced a fast jurney upwards for 1 - 2 minutes, ending up in different rooms. On these levels, that seem to be mental, I can no longer see as clear colors as I can on astral. This may be because it´s harder for me to register with my objective consciousness on these planes. Here I have met many of my guides. At one time I travelled at a high speed through a narrow tunnel, finally landing in a large room with many working people. One man met me and showed me around. The others were busy doing their job and payed no attention to me.

 

At another occation on these levels I was put in a room where some kind of machine sent a "ray" through my nonphysical bodies. After that I got moved into another room with some people, giving me a diagnosis of the state (purity) of my bodies.

 

The highest levels I have reached are very hard for me to describe, simply because I had almost no vision, probably at the very limit of my objective consciousness. I have only been here a couple of times, and then met a lighbeing who had such an effect on me that I, after coming back to physical, have litterary been vibrating in bed for about an hour.

 

M O 2006-03-21

P L 070510

 

Secured in apparatus

 

One night about 1992 or 1993 a got a special out of body experience. I then lived in Västerås working as a nursing assistant in a block of service flats. For several days I had felt "low", lacking life energy, almost feeling depressed. This night I experienced how I got brought out of my body by some small beings. They took me away from Earth, out into space with tremendous speed. I was dropped down in a large room with many machines and instruments. In front of me was a gold coloured (or heather-honey coloured) being with black almond shaped eyes and a small thin mouth. The face was oval. It looked like the being on the cover of Whitley Striebers book "Close encounter".

 

I experienced the being as two sexed. It was neither male nor female but both. It kindly greeted me. Then I got secured in some large and clumsy apparatus. I lied on my back with legs bent in 90 degrees, while the apparatus sent some energy shocks from my feet up into my legs. The shocks could be seen as well as felt. A white light was being pushed out of the apparatus at the feet and "rolling" up my legs for a few seconds. It was quite painful and after three or four shocks I told the being to stop. I woke up in my physical body with my legs shaking violently. The shakings continued for several minutes.

 

Since this was a painful experience I wondered what kind of beings I had encountered. Were they good or evil? The golden being had seemed friendly, and in fact, after this experience I felt a dramatic difference in my life energy. I was happy, positive and filled with energy. What I believe happened is that I got some kind of help cleaning "dirt" from my energy channels in my legs, probably in my etheric body.

 

In front of a podium

 

In May 1994 I attended a course in Värmland. One of the nights, in a condition of the deep relaxation you can feel just before you go to sleep, I started to hear some unusual sound signals. It was a scale of tones with very special frequencies being played, and it cut through my body and soul, but not in an unpleasant way. Describing these sounds is very difficult for me because I have never heard anything like it, before or after. Calling them atonal isn´t enough; they were outside what I would like to call known music. The thing that comes closest, if I should make a comparison with known music, are some tunes by Ralph Lundsten.

 

I lay there in bed and the tones "cut" so deep into me that I left my body. Soon I was in a large room standing in front of a podium. Behind some kind of tables or alterlike things sat or stood a number of figures who´s faces and bodies I could not see (or remember). The alterlike "tables" and podium was in front of and to the left of me.

 

At this time I know some communication took place, but the details of the conversation are missing to me. I do know it was something about the tasks I am supposed to perform in this life, I have a feeling it was very much and I wondered if I could ever make it, or get the time for it. The actual meeting was quite solemn, as if standing in front of some employers, both to give a report and to recieve new information.

 

The next thing I remember is waking up in bed with the sound signals once more cutting through my body and soul. Slowly the signals faded away.

 

My understanding is that the signals were some kind of "carriers" or vibrations with which my nonphysical (maybe astral/emotional) body was transported back and forth to the place of the meeting.

 

One interesting thing is that I have a close friend in Stockholm who´ve had exactly the same experience. We both have a deep spiritual interest and a very special relation.

 

The "burning" man

 

This happened when I was only a few years old, but the experience was so strong that the memory remains clear and vivid. I lied in my room and was going to sleep. My parents were in the living room watching tv. Suddenly, from one wall in the room comes a shining figure. It runs, but in slow motion, through the room and the light emanating makes it look as if it is burning. It passes across the room and vanishes into a closet. Everything is over in a matter of seconds.

 

The experience makes me terrified and I run screaming to my parents, saying I have seen a burning man. He went into the closet. My mother follows me back to my room. I show her the closet telling her the man is in there. She opens, and the closet is empty of course. Then she says the classic words that so many children probably have heard: It was a dream. Go to sleep. We are out there. Knowing it was no dream, it feels terrible not to be believed. I don´t want to be left alone but my mother leaves me. I feel disappointed, and betrayed, by my parents who don´t seem to care.

 

Horrific experience of voices

 

This is one of the nastiest experiences I´ve had. I don´t know if it was influenced by suggestion or real. It happened around 10 years of age, maybe earlier. My father had a recorded tape with something he called "spirit voices". It was voices who by chance got recorded on a casett tape a friend of he´s had got during a recording in an attic. The voices sounded creepy, kind of hollow and spooky. Every time I heard them I felt discomfort.

 

I often thought with fear about these voices and was afraid I would hear something like that. So, one night I thought I heard whispering voices in the dark. I listened and they grew stronger and stronger. Now all sounds from the physical reality disappeared, and it felt like some hole to another reality was opened. The vioces from this reality soon came really close and it was like a group of beings or "spirits" were fighting over a chance to talk or scream in my ears. It was the same kind of hollow, wordless voices I had previously heard on my father’s tapes. Nothing made sense, just a big chaos of noise.

 

Naturally I got scared by this experience and my survival instinct took over. I screamed to make the voices disappear. The scream awoke my sister in the next room. The voices vanished, but for several years to come I slept with earplugs or with my head under the pillow, sometimes with the lights on.

 

Being in a happy place

 

This is one of the most wonderful experiences I´ve had. Unfortunately I don´t remember all details, only the larger part of the feeling of the place and the "people". Nor do I remember when it took place, but I believe it was a night in the late 80:s or early 90:s.

 

I left my body and travelled at tremendous speed through space. My Universe disappeared and turned into a small dot. Then a new universe opened up that I now was in, but I travelled out of that too. It turned into a small dot while I seemed to grow bigger. I then experienced being in a third Universe, that I travelled out of as I continued growing. Even this Universe turned into a dot and vanished. This jurney into ever larger and more distant Universes continued for a number of times. I don´t know how many, but the feeling was not only to travel in space but also in state and time. Consequently it all finally turned into a feeling of being in a different reality, totally separated from normal time. I could describe it as being millions of years in the future or in the past. (Please notice, that this is an attempt to describe something indescribable. Don´t focus too much on terms as Universe, grow, time, remote and so on. I have no other words to use.)

 

Finally I ended up in a world of indescribable happiness. I spent a time here that I find hard to get a grip on. It could have been days or several years. All I can say is that I don´t remember details or events. I became friend with a number of figures who I spent much time with, and between us were indescribable emotions. The word love isn´t enough, because we on Earth don´t know what love is. It was as if life itself was filled with happiness here. The very existence seemed to be made of happiness in some way, it seemed to be in the air and you took part of it just by existing.

 

The world where all this took place is also indescribable since neither our laws of nature or lives are as we know them. My inability to remember details might be because my brain can´t transform to my Earthly consciousness. But maybe I wouldn´t be able to explain anyway. A simile could be thinking about a happy fairytale.

 

Finally it was time for me to return. As I stood there, ready for my journey back, it felt as the life on Earth I now live existed millions of years ago in a reality long forgotten, and now I was going back there. I looked at the sea of stars in the Universe and got a panic thought: "How will I ever find my way back, I don´t know where I´m going". But somehow I got help. A point in the sea of stars was taken in bearing and I travelled there. In this point a Universe opened up, once again with billions of stars. A new point was taken in bearing and I travelled into a new Universe and so on. Finally I got to our galaxy, to our solar system, down to Earth, to Sweden, to the city I lived in and to my house, in through the wall to the bed and into my body.

 

I woke up in my physical reality with a feeling of "Where am I? What strange reality is this? Oh yes, this is where I live (lived a million years ago and now I´m back). This is a strange world but now I´m back". It took a while, to really wake up and orientate here. This life stood in a sharp contrast to my journey into existence and I felt happy that there are such magnificent worlds. During only one night I had spent a very long time in this other world. Time is, in other words, not something absolute or linear. There seem to be possibilities to infinite variation of what we call time.

 

Music experience with memory

 

This took place around 1980. A friend of mine had recorded a casett tape of a group named "Saga". The record was "Images at twilight". (This was at the time when there were only Lp:s and tapes. The Cd came later). I had never heard this group before. As I listened to the first song I immediately recognized it. But what is this? I had heard it before, and it was a long time ago. I got vague memories and emotions. Where and when had I heard it? I couldn´t remember, no matter how I tried.

 

The second song I could also clearly recognize. The same feelings and perceptions. The memories seemed ancient. This record must be very old, I thought. But when I looked at the record it was dated 1979. It was recorded one year ago. But why were the songs so familiar? Listening to the second song also gave me a clear memory picture. I saw a figure from the back, walking on a winding path in some kind of shining, colourful landscape. The figure was moving away dancing to the music. I got the feeling that I, then in my memory, just recently had bid farewell to this figure. We had spent some time together and now it was time to move on in life, maybe to new adventures. The feeling in this "memory" could be described as like a fairytale and very happy. Everything was filled with humour, love and playfulness. The landscape also reminded of a fairytale.

 

This was no ordinary, so called deja vu experience where you recognize what you experience "right now". No, this experience was about that the songs brought back seemingly ancient memories in me.

 

I have no explanation to this story. It is all a mystery to me. But recently I have increasingly noticed that some music can give me emotional associations to this "fairytale world". Except Saga, it can be music like: Mike Oldfield, Marillion, Chakras Dream, Styx, Yes, Camel. In a humoristic way you can ask yourself from where musicians get there inspiration.

 

Unpleasant pick up attempt

 

This happened the night between 8/5 and 9/5 2007. I woke up being outside of my body. Two beings held me in my arms and flew away with me. We were going somewhere, but it felt unpleasant. I got suspicious toward the beings. Who were they and why did they feel unpleasant? In some way telepathy was the natural mean of communication here and I asked the beings who they were, but they didn´t seem to be interested in contact with me. Instead they looked away as if they tried to avoid my question. But I didn´t give up. I wanted to know who they were. I turned to one of the beings and took my hand to his face (yes, it felt like two male beings) to try and turn his face towards me. But then he tried to bite my fingers in rage. I could see that his ears were a bit sharp. Apart from that he looked almost human. Everything was quite unpleasant and I told the beings: "No, I´m not going anywhere with you". I got loose of their grip and turned back.

 

I woke up in my bed and felt a strange vibration go through my head and neck at the same time as I, for a few seconds, was completely paralyzed. The paralyzes went away. Now I was really back into my body. My chrown chakra felt fully open and I saw strange pictures and colours with my third eye. The pictures and colours had vibrations that felt unclean. They felt unpleasant. I could also hear voices, around me and inside my head, unpleasant voices. Even if they sounded soft and smooth they gave me a horrifying feeling. It was as if they were demons. (It is the only simile I can find).

 

Soon afterwards I could feel a light coming down through my chrown chakra. I experienced the light from within and saw it inside my head. It felt both painful and unpleasant. It was as if I would lose my personal consciousness if I let the light inside of me. Therefore I resisted. I gathered my inner force into the center of my body and began pushing the light away. I didn´t want this light inside of me. Slowly I managed to press the light out and reclaim myself.

 

I ask myself what this really was. What made me suspicious was the unpleasant colours and voices and, not to forget, the unpleasant beings who first tried to take me with them. By experience I have the understanding that everything is not good "out there". If good forces are there, they first have to prove they are good. If a meeting feels unpleasant I take it as the "black idiots" are there again.

 

Naturally I can´t know if I´m taking my experiences correct, since I don´t have a pure love energy myself. However I want to clarify that when I say unpleasant I don´t mean fearful. I very seldom feel afraid and there is a difference between discomfort and fear. But nuances are of course hard to describe sometimes and it´s impossible to tell what´s what in all situations. Is the discomfort due to unconscious fear or not?

 

P L 07-05-10

P L 070712

 

"Strange experiences"

 

A meeting with a powerful and unpleasant character

(the first meeting of two)

 

Actually I don’t feel very comfortable telling this. I choose to do so anyway because I consider this experience so very important. This happened somewhere between the year 2001 and 2003. It seems like the reason to following experience was that I, during my adult life as well as now, have been busy with my personal development, and hopefully I will continue doing so.

 

I woke up nighttime in my bed with an unpleasant feeling. I could feel that I had a visit by someone, but it wasn’t a pleasant character. I received an notion of a man in a suit, quite slim and elegant in his best years. He had his background in a world where he succeeded to build up some kind of empire. He lived there in a kind of gigantic castle- or palace like building. He had many servants under him, different characters and creatures in some kind of hierarchy, and he had power over them all with the different kind of powers he mastered. This was evidently a very dangerous character, a magician, who with different kind of powers ruled over others, enslaved them. He had an attractive exterior, sophisticated and good looking, while the people beneath him had many different kind of appearances depending on which level they had in his empire. From looking as humans, to what we could call beasts.

 

The creature gave me a message through telepathy that felt threatening. The message concerned a proposal to a collaboration and an agreement. He informed me that I had begun trespassing on his domains and that I should watch out. I would get many benefits if I accepted the agreement. I made the announcement that I wasn’t interested in his agreement and that I wanted him to leave me alone. He had nothing to do with my development and I would keep on developing no matter what he could come up with. (On the whole I have as a principle to never make doubtful agreements with anyone, especially not with unpleasant figures, who presents threats or promises of benefits).

 

During many years of practice I’ve learned a technique to send out (visualize) light and love. I use it to, if it’s required, deal with what I meet and defend myself. Therefore I did send out light over this creature, hoping to see a positive change, or to see him disappear (The so called evil shun the light of love whereas benevolence welcomes it). However the light seemed not to affect him at all. He seemed strong, full of energy and had obviously evolved different kinds of techniques to protect himself. I had accordingly not enough of strength to put up with. The only way for me to get rid of him was to temporary promise to leave him and his empire alone. (But I had done nothing!) First then he left me.

 

The next following days it seemed like this creature wouldn’t leave me alone. Somehow he was inside of me, deep down. I transmitted light but nothing helped. Then I tried to find other ways to get rid of him. At last I tried to feel the emotions in his heart and started to send light in to it. Then I succeeded. There was the spot where he was vulnerable and I could feel his sorrow. He escaped back.

 

After sending out light into his heart I was left alone for a while. But he did a further try. See below.

 

Taken out of my body and a meeting with three unpleasant characters (second meeting of two)

 

I received this experience several months after the first meeting with the unpleasant character with the empire. I assume and think that it is the same character that stands behind the following.

 

I was in my bed, feeling how an energy started to beam into my body.

Soon I noticed that the energy somehow fetched my energy-body and took it away. (I guess it was the ether-body/emotional-body). The moment after I was present in some kind of a large castle- or palace hall in which I was flying around, not able to control myself. The external environment was beautiful with marble, adornment, statues and furniture. Still it felt unpleasant, like I was trapped in someway. Inside of me I had the feeling of outrage, like someone took me here by force.

 

After a short while, three elegant gentlemen dressed in suits entered through a door and sat down at a large table. They came to see me and I felt telepathly that their reason was to negotiate with me to get an agreement. These men felt unpleasant and I had no interest in getting any kind of agreement with them. My purpose was to make this process short and to not stay one second more than necessary. I pointed my finger towards them and said: ”You are fools who think you can put yourselves up against God.”

 

I don’t know where I got these words from or why I chose them. They just slipped out of me. Besides I didn’t announce them in a telepathically way. I pronounced the words pure ”physical” using the mouth of my energy body. It was with a great difficulty I managed to speak. I couldn’t get my mouth to work in a proper way or make a sufficient strong sound. The words shrunk to a hissing sound and my mouth felt halfway paralyzed. But just to pronounce the words in a physical way seemed to have a strength that weakened those three men. When the words were pronounced the men transformed in front of me and became to ghastly and grotesque creatures. They seemed to totally loose control over themselves and over the situation. This interrupted the experience and I woke up in my bed.

 

A landscape (one world or several in one?)

 

This part is very difficult to describe. I choose to make an attempt to give a description. I can establish that the laws of nature as we know them in our physical reality aren’t the same in those realities you experience outside your physical body. Ordinary physical laws of nature seem to be able to exist, but they can still stop to exist and be replaced by different laws. It seems like certain forces are higher and can override lower forces. In this or these worlds I’ll describe, it seems like I by myself can activate certain functions or laws of nature through my bare presence or awareness, but there’s also something else that rules, something greater which I have influence over. I have no idea what this is.

 

This part is so difficult to describe that I ask the reader to understand that the following is hard to describe. It is impossible to, with a language designed for a three-dimensional reality, to describe a reality with many more dimensions and functions. One thing I’ve been able to accomplish is that changes in my focus and my awareness in these worlds directly can affect the reality I have outside of me. I accordingly control a part of my reality by myself, but far from all of it. I don’t know why I can affect some things but not other; neither what it is that I have an effect on, or what kind of greater powers I can’t affect. Here below is a try to make a description of a landscape I’ve got inside of me, some kind of a memory of a world I’ve visited many times. It works both as a world but also as many worlds in one, and I experience them both near and dear. They are a part of me. The four compass directions actually don’t exist in these worlds but I do have a sense of a course now when I’m trying to describe this world, or worlds.

 

A central place in this world is a kind of pyramid building that lies outside a ledge in a rock face. The facade seems to consist of thousands of windows. My view of this experience is that this building is some kind of communication center between different worlds. Inside the building lots of different kind of creatures work with maintaining communication, work so everything keeps going at proper levels. When I feel deep inside myself and ”think” about this building, I get an awesome, almost unbelievable feeling. However, I’ve never (as much as I know) been able to enter this building and view it from the inside.

 

In what I recall as northwest of the pyramid building, lies a large building I understand it is some kind of treatment - or rehabilitation - centre. When you transport yourself from the pyramid building you also transport yourself to a different world with an entire different atmosphere. Here, the atmosphere is heavy, often quite inconvenient and sometimes really filled with anguish. If you are not focused in the right way when you move across the building, then you could get lost in there. It’s a challenge to stay in this building and it demands focused awareness. It seems like the building is a place for lost souls to rehabilitate in. It seems like the purpose is for them to get back on track again.

 

Even further northwest, out in a kind of periphery of the landscape, lays a town. What distinguish this town from others we are used to in our physical world is that is full of escalators and moving pavement. There are less motor vehicles than we’re used to, but more varied. You can see everything from old horse cabs to hovercrafts and small flying saucers. The moving pavement seemed to be the predominantly way to move across the town. You stand on an escalator or moving pavement and move to any place you like. Besides there’s a lot of shopping, stores and pleasures, but I don’t have any special experience of seeing residents. Questions I ask myself are: Where do you live, or do you live here? Maybe this town is a place you go to for pleasure, and you live somewhere else. The town gives a positive feeling of happiness.

 

Southeast of the pyramid building there’s another town that seems to be almost identical to the town that lay at the northwest side. Because of this identical town experience I ask the question: Is the other town the same town as the first one, but that the town in presence lays in two geographical different kinds of places, or are the identical towns really different places who only seem to be identical? I have no answer to this question. Here the laws of nature seem to sometime be unintelligible for our physical understanding.

 

On the west side of the pyramid building, almost southwest, lays a landscape of mountains. South of it there’s a forest. From a distance, the forest looks like a young spruce forest, and not that large in area, but when you enter it, it can start to grow. Walking around this forest is like taking a walk in a special world and in a special atmosphere. You need to be in the right mood otherwise you could get lost. The area of the forest can grow so much that you wouldn’t find the way out, not until you change from the inside. In this forest it seems like you can create your own experience: beauty or fear. This forest seems to be a place that directly answer to you’re own feelings and reflect to what you pick out from yourself. Could this be some kind of test place where you get tested to see how far you can go?

 

Directly to the north of the forest is, as told, a landscape of mountains. When you stand and look on it from the outside it looks to be very limited and without depth. It’s as you only from the outside can see the ”surface” of the mountains and a little bit into it. The rest is concealed in some kind of mist. Besides, when you start to tread this landscape, a gradual change appears on both your mood and on the atmosphere around you. Somehow you walk in another world and the feeling gets more and more fantastic, wild and adventurous. The experience is quite wonderful. In this territory you can walk as far and as much as you want to. Yet there is, in this path, a large portion of elements of surprise for one who’s used to the normal physics, for example unexpected laws of nature or different kinds of phenomenon’s. I avoid trying to describe them because it’s too difficult.

 

The pyramid building lays, as told, out on a ledge in a rock face. It faces northeast. I haven’t experienced what’s on the north side. Sometimes I think I’ve seen a large space there, filled with stars and planets; sometimes I think I’ve seen a gigantic valley that reaches out far down the ledge. But what’s really on the northeast side, I’m not sure of.

 

As far as you can reach out in these worlds southern periphery lays a great sea that reminds of the Mediterranean. I can sea land south of the sea. But in my memory I can’t reach there. I don’t even know if I’ve been down there. The distance to it, from the centre of these worlds seems to be very long, many miles, but also very short, like I could reach out my hand and directly touch it. The experience of the distance seems to depend on my focus. My own pure ”physical” size seems to depend on my focus.

 

The world, or these worlds, seems to be united in some kind of road system and I have memories of me traveling upon these roads. The roads appear in the same way as many of the other experiences do, in a superficial way. When you step into the road system and travel on the roads you also fade into distances in different ways- You fade into the roads, landscapes and experiences in a participating way. Everything enlarges, realizes or activates and you begin to experience what you fade into.

 

Another place that seems to be ”hidden” in this world/worlds is a more unpleasant place. Viewed through a geographical perspective I experience it laying quite southeast of the pyramid building but also a little down below, like you have to go downwards to reach there. When you move there it gets dim and gloomy. You step into a world where I experience that someone, or some, got an enslaving power over others. There’s one or many buildings looking like castles or palaces. I experience that the ”humans” or their souls (maybe emotionalbodies/astralbodies) in some kind of way got stuck in this world and that someone or some are using them for their own profit.

 

I have an experience of me being in this world to help with some kind of liberation. We are a group of people who often travel here to accomplish help. This work is risky and hard and that’s why we’ve became each others support. The most risky is to receive and fight those in power who enslaves. The most difficult is the work of liberation, meaning trying to wake up the ”paralyzed, deceived or hypnotized” souls and take them to a different place. This work demands a clear focus, but also planning and cooperation. To be able to affect others in this way demands a gathering of special abilities which has to do with strength in the mind. I experience this work as some kind of training, but also as something I’ve chosen to do in a higher purpose.

 

It’s of course with great aversion I’m telling the above because rather don’t wish to ”seem peculiar”. But I actually think that many, in this above, can find it a lot interesting. That’s why I’m telling.

 

If someone asks me: How can you be sure that you’re not imagining it all, or not having a lively fantasy. I answer: I don’t know. I have experiences, that’s all. Facts, I leave to others to work out.

 

Need of help in a life crisis

 

The Summer of 1994 was the worst in my life. In spring I had suffered an unpredictable life crisis. I didn’t know why I felt anxiety. I had nothing to feel bad about. Yet I was deeply unhappy without knowing why. I had many times before in my life had different crises, but then there was always an external visible reason for them. This time I didn’t find any of those reasons. It was like everything in my life was put on the line and I saw through everything that used to have a meaning to me. Now it all felt meaningless. I couldn’t find any reason to live at all, not even with reincarnation as a thought, eternity and development towards more wonderful worlds.

 

What I didn’t understand, but what I think I understand now, is that the reason to this crisis was some kind of increase in my consciousness. Since I got a lot of sights and experiences under the four months the crisis lasted. Those sights and experiences had some kind of existential character and were about life and eternity. It contained a lot of experiences of contacts with levels (energies of awareness) that simply was too much for me and gave me anxiety. This was too much to understand.

 

Enough of that. I won’t go in to further details about this crisis, and all these experiences, because the article would be too long about only that, and that’s not the purpose. What I instead want to tell about is what kind of help I got.

 

At the end of august this year I went away to a hiking tour in the mountains. I had many times before been hiking in the mountains so I was used to it, but this time I was deeply unhappy. I didn’t know if I would return from the mountains this time. I didn’t know if I out there would take my life or what I would do; I just knew that I had to get away, anywhere out there, away from people and civilization. I didn’t feel that I could get more out of life, but I didn’t know what to do instead.

 

The first night in the tent I received an experience. I got a visit from a marvelous loving being who said to me: ”You don’t have to feel that life is meaningless anymore”. These were the only words which in a telepathic way were sent to me by this being, but it was also like the words manifested a special feeling and purpose. This telepathic message was actually not only words. It was like if the words were carried by a meaningfulness and purpose. Something more than just the words transmitted to me under these few seconds the message lasted. Next morning when I woke up I felt fine. Everything felt pleasant and I viewed life with new eyes. It felt like I was newborn, naked and clean. The feeling can be compared with what you feel when you go up from a lake after a fresh swim, the pureness. But feelings are actually impossible to describe. After this nightly visit I went back toward my new life, again filled with unexplainable meaningfulness of life.

 

Years have past since this experience but I’ll never forget it, and I have many times been grateful to the one who helped me, even I don’t know who it was. (However, I know that the being felt like a man). The experiences I got from this crisis and this healing made me understand a lot of happiness and unhappiness, meaning and meaningless; what it really is. But it’s complicated to understand, yet actually so simple. It’s about being in contact with what I call the ”life essence or the life energy”. What I really mean with all this demands a whole lot more detailed explanation, but I won’t go any further into it.

 

Sex and out of body experiences

 

Well now you got curious. The word sex in a headline always seems to be tempting. But here I won’t go into any details. I just want to tell that I several times had sex in my out of body experiences. And I believe that this is not particularly unusual; it’s more that you don’t talk about it.

 

Are you able to have sex without your body? The answer is of course I had a body in my out of body experiences, although it wasn’t my physical body. (It lays still in bed). The body I had when I had sex seemed as firm and solid like my physical body, and even very sensitive. Also the women I’ve met had bodies. But what I could establish is that those women I’ve met often have been looking exceptional perfect and arised storms of passionate feelings in me. They’ve also did everything I wished for. But after a while I’ve noticed that it’s some kind of passivity in them, a kind of nonawareness, like they are missing a real life and a will of their own. It’s like you want to shake them and shout: ”Hello! Is anybody there? Wake up!”

 

I’ve also experienced that there’s a difference in having sex in out of body experiences and sex in dreams. In my case it have been that ”sex in dreams” often gives reactions in the physical body, while sex in "out of body" does not. (But it feels as real as in the physical). Why it’s been like that I leave it to the reader to work out.

 

I have also learned that I in these experiences, I had much more intense feelings than I usually have in the physical reality in my body. It’s been like the ”emotional chaos” I’ve had inside of me totally got loose and made me willing to really take part of all the pleasure that I could get.

 

These sex experiences have in a way been heavenly (you are uninhibited and you meet the women in your dreams), but in a way an essential thing have been missing, for instance the personality and soul in those women I’ve met. The question that comes up is: What have I actually met? Have it been real women or soulless ideal creations? If that’s the case, who did create them?

 

Towards higher consciousness

 

What's happening? Why can't I move? Why can't I speak?

 

I hardly get the time to ask one question until the next one takes over. At the same time I can feel a paralyzing sensation entering my body. I go more and more numb, until all physical feeling is gone. A pressing sensation now enters my head with a growing intensity. A fear comes, and I fight to awaken my body. The pressing sensation explodes, and a streaming energy washes over me in a wavelike movement. A few minutes later everything is back to normal. I can move and I open my eyes. Look around, nobody's there. Was this a dream? No, I quickly conclude I was fully awake. My head is sore and my body has a confused feeling. After this afternoon my life changed.

 

This type of experience repeated itself regularly. After a while I learned it wasn't dangerous. A curiosity to find out what it was lead me to some meetings with different clairvoyants. They all looked at me with questions in their eyes, and I realized this wasn't a normal experience. I simply had to learn myself.

 

Out of the body

 

When I started letting go of my fear, the experiences developed and I sometimes left my body. I remember the first time as if it was yesterday. It took place one night, when I was brought into the paralyzing state. I allowed myself to relax. The whole energy body was vibrating with a tremendous force, and I could feel it charging like a battery. Suddenly I separated from the physical body and hovered until I stood next to the physical. I could see myself lying in bed, but my consciousness wasn't there, it was in my energy body. I curiously moved towards the mirror in my apartment. I could see the contours of a person. The body was shining in a blue, bright colour. I left the apartment by flying through the door. At a high speed I flew through Jönköping. Suddenly I was back in my physical body. I opened my eyes, overexcited with what I had just been through. It was an incredible feeling to be out of the body and still fully awake.

 

I often asked myself what it was that made me enter this strange state, and being able to leave the body. Was it something I did myself?

 

During a couple of years I regularly woke up, feeling my body go numb and energies streaming through me. The result often was an obe (out of body experience). Being a curious person, I started experimenting. Was it possible to move faster than flying from A to B? I discovered that by picturing a place, my energy body got cought by a huge force. The transport was through a tunnel. I got there in a moment. The tunnel was made of light, shining in all colours. My energy body became one with the light. The feeling may resemble a trip through a vacuum cleaner.

 

When I'm out on a trip I'm almost always in contact with my physical. What I experience as physical outside, I can feel in my physical body in some way. Anyhow it is affected. The consciousness moves from the energy body to the physical. Sometimes it's difficult to know where you are. After a while the consciousness leaves the physical and gets fully established in the energy body. Also, the mental- and emotional body can leave at the same time. Then the consciousness can jump between all three, and different experiencies are recieved. One on the mental plane and another one on emotional plane. In that case I have to keep up, to know where I am. This can probably be controlled, but I haven't learned it yet.

 

Naturally I tried to induce the paralyzing state by meditation. I tried to leave my body consciously. I never suceeded with that. Eventually I realized that these trips were something that was given to me, nothing you should do at anytime. I managed to induce the vibrating stage and even start up the energy flow through my body. Pretty soon I started reflecting about what I was doing. As I felt inside, an inner voice told me I should not do that. It did more harm than good. It should be left to my higher self and my guides. After this insight I stopped trying. Even during my obe:s I stopped testing. I simply was. A spectator you might say.

 

Processing with the energy system

 

After a few years my nightly experiencies changed in character. There were no obe:s, but I was brought into the paralyzing state, and from there I could feel the energies from the visitors who came to work with me. They didn't speak but would gladly demonstrate the sounds from the tools they used. One of them is the "drill". I could hear the sound of it. At the central chakrapoints I could feel vibrations, very strong vibrations. The focus was to clean up my energy system. To be able to recieve higher matter/vibration you need a well balanced and cleansed energy system. This is a process that takes a long time. The unbalance comes from previous incarnations as well as the present one.

 

Here’s one example of an experience from 2007-10-16.

 

I wake up, feeling a presence by my side. It sits down beside me, puts its hand on me and I get very warm. I’m lying on my stomach so it’s the back that gets warm. The person or what it is, changes position and gets above me. I can’t feel it physically so I guess it’s hovering above me. A narrow beam is being sent straight into my base chakra. To begin with only a heat spreads in my chakra, but after a while it gets terribly painful. I don’t know why, but now I’m being moved again. I end up in a room, in a bed, lying in the same way as I did in my “real” bed and the beam is once again streaming into my base chakra. I can’t move. I tell myself that I have to make it somehow. I try to see the necessity for the blockages to resolve. The intensity from the beam increases. The pain gets indescribable. I feel myself almost fainting and then the intensity decreases. I get a little slack. Nobody talks to me and nobody gives any answers as the beam once again is sent into my base chakra. I try not to panic, but it’s close now. I really try to focus away from the pain. I have no choice since I cannot move. As the pain once again gets indescribable, I can see inner images pass by. Pictures from my childhood. I meet things I have suppressed. Unfortunately I panic, not being able to handle the pain. Then I’m once again moved back!

 

The processing of the system can be felt physically in different ways.  Most of the time it’s very demanding, maybe because the dirt is deep and stuck. The experience I described here is one of the first of this character. Gradually I’ve learned to handle it. To have trust in myself and those working with me is important. To know that they will never pass the limit. You can manage it. This is a help you should gratefully accept, not throw away with your fear.

 

Gradually I also started to feel the energies in daytime. In the beginning it was weak, hardly noticeable. It felt like someone was carefully scratching the middle of my head. Little by little it got stronger. The most intensive days I stay home with migraine and feverish condition. The difference from ordinary migraine is that I can feel a beam placed in my head, and energy streaming through the whole body. The temperature changes, between extremely hot and cold. I can share my energy by putting my hand on someone, who then feels the energy transmission, the heat. The physical gets affected, depending on where the energy works. When the beam is in solar plexus the stomach/intestine system is affected. If it’s placed in the heart chakra it results in irregular heartbeat. Passing trough the throat chakra can induce a diffuse sore throat. The mental energy, sharply felt in the crown chakra, affects the nervous system and also joints in the body. In other words, it can be quite intense when the beams enter different chakras at the same time.

 

I get very sensitive and can’t stay close to other people. Energies from others easily gets in, affecting the system. Walks in the woods are beneficial. The grounding energy is crucial to keep a balance. I often lean towards a tree to recieve its energy. Another way can be to take a bath. When the energy flow is as strongest, it’s important not to focus on it, just letting it be. The energy processing  can take place at any time, day or night. Those working with me don’t concider what I do in my workday. The responsible are just focused on when to send different beams.

 

To keep the system in balance, it also requires emotional balance. Too large changes in mood affects me instantly. At rare occasions, when I got really angry, I could feel the spleen- and solar plexus chakra badly hurt a few hours later. A cutting pain is felt in the physical, that can stay for days until balance is achieved once again. The right frequency is needed, where calm and harmony appear. Then a steady flow is maintained.

 

The more active the energy system is, the more you need a good protection around you, not to take in energies from others. By visualisation, I build energy mantles.

 

New meetings

 

Naturally I have always been fascinated by extraterrestrials and their existence. I Never imagined that I would one day stand eye to eye with one.

 

One night in 2008 I woke up by being sucked out of the physical body with a tremendous speed. I lost consciousness, but woke up after a while in a bunk in a dark room. I quickly noted that the walls and floor wasn’t built by the same material that I was used to. I knew I was in a ship. I got out of the room and entered a larger room. There were panels with technical equipment, blinking buttons etc. As I felt a presence I turned around, and suddenly a small humanoid stood in front of me. It was shorter than me, around 160cm tall. It had a dark green body and large almond shaped eyes. I reacted a little because I felt it looked right trough me. It noted my presence but didn'd seem to care much. Without moving I got transported to a room. I sat down. The floor and the walls were dark and it was difficult to see.

 

Suddenly the room was lit up by letters, who began dancing around me like a laser show. The letters or symbols were extraterrestrial, but nothing I could understand. I was fascinated by how the different formations soared in large numbers around me and I couldn't figure out from where they were projected. They were simply there, in the air. I looked up towards the roof and could see through it, a larger ship was passing by above. A beam of light was directed towards me and I got into it. Everything got black and I ended up in my physical body. Didn't sleep any more that night.

 

After various experiencies I started to see the nights as more thrilling than the days. Every time I went to bed I hoped to be a part of something new. I just wanted to get out of the body. Get away from everyday life with its greyish rutines. I felt more alive outside of my body that in it. Should it be like that? It became an inner conflict where I felt increadibly uncomfortable on earth. I just wanted to get away from it. Felt more at home in the extraterrestrial enviroments. I travelled to nonphysical planets. I saw fantastic enviroments with different natural experiencies and architectures. I began reflecting over why I was put on earth. It could hardle be to dream away during the days. Of course I had a mission on earth and I'm now focused on that. A help has been trying to live here and now, even if it's difficult.

 

Experience from 2008

 

I'm in a ship, walking in a long corridor. Along the corridor there are closed doors. I open one and see people lying on bunks. They look sick and are connected to different types of equipment. It seems like they are getting help. I close the door again and continue. Open a new one and enter a small room. I see 3 bunks and there are 3 people there. I come closer and see their faces. They look like me, all of them!

 

I get scared and quickly get away from there, waking up in my body.

 

2009-06-22

I go to sleep for the night, but wake up by practically a bang in my head, the same feeling as when i was 15 years old. That energytype is so strong, can't awaken myself from it. The body goes numb immediately. I hardly have time to react, gets pulled out of the body, and practically sucked straigt up in the air, out into space. Not even my consciousness has the time, or I'm conscious in my body for a short while as well, because I get some time to think in it. After that I'm soon back in my energy body.

 

I'm now in a room and I just know it's a ship, and I know what to expect. It's dark in the room, or my vision is poor, I don't know. I try to mentally get prepared to meet a being who will probably beam me. There is hardly time to think clearly, someone is moving in the room. I see a tall figure, with tall neck, black eyes. He is talking to me but I have dificulties to understand. I get scared but at the same time I know he means well. He moves increadibly fast. From being e few meters away he suddenly stands by my side. He shows me where to lie down, a type of chair where you recline. I place myself there, with the thought that I should be grateful they are helping me.

 

Now everything goes black and I can't see. A beam is placed in the base chakra and I can feel a weak rotation. For a short moment I get my vision back and see the being place two fingers at my forehead, one each side of the ajna center. Now I'm not sure what happens. I can feel my head almost exploding, what an energy! Try to get loose, but I can't even move a finger. I scream like crazy, they must have wondered! I really thought this was my last moment!

 

I had aches in my body for about a week, worst in my stomach. After this type of experience I have full respect for the chakra system and its force. Thinking about those who tamper with energies to experience this and that. They have no idea what forces there are involved.

 

Over time the experiencies changed further. To enter the "state" my energy bodies didn't have to vibrate any more. I only feel a weak buzzing in my neck and then I'm there. This state seem to be very versatile and you can experience anything in it. There doesn't seem to be any limitations, except your own level of develpoment to be able to recieve, of course. What I have experienced except from obe:s, jurneys to ships and other planets is that information can be given by scenes, reminding of lucid dreams but even sharpen than them. Here the information comes from the mental planes. Most often it's the unbalancies being showed by different symbols and difficult rebus puzzles. They are hard to understand but maybe there is a purpose with that. By focusing and trying to understand you find yourself.

 

Because this is all about development, a jurney towards higher consciousness. Once the door has been opened you never want to close it. The urge within brings you forward and you can never concider anything else, but to continue climbing the ladder.

 

C F